Today I got to chat with a friend who was having a hard time being who she really is. I found out that it's because she's been busy living for other people, or doing things that she doesn't really like in order to be accepted. Was a great chat with her and I shared my views on living for ourselves.
I posted this on Facebook after that:
"You don't live for other people. You don't live a life just to please someone else, fit in the crowd, or to be someone who you are not. You live for yourself. So start doing things which will make you genuinely happy and productive in life. People tells me it's selfish to live for ourselves. But what's the point living a life which is not yours?"
I think it is really not easy to make that bold decision to live for ourselves and working towards what we are passionate for. When I was younger, more or less at high school age, I was living for my parents. Their strong objection of me going to Spain for performance due to my government exam made me succumbed to it at the very start. My friend instead, fought for the permission from her parents. In the end, she went and it didn't affect our exams at all. That was the lightbulb moment - I didn't live for myself. But don't get me wrong, I still love my parents and I understood where they were coming from. I was just frustrated why didn't I fight for myself.
When my parents divorced, I started living for my family. After graduating from high school I really hoped to pursue something in the media line yet I succumbed to the older generation's advice on job stability. Now to think of it, it was only STPM stage and we were talking about job stability, how funny is that! I had another chance to pursue my passion for media, arts or languages when I was in university but the professional advices again made me a coward. When I saw a friend of mine was majoring in languages and all the opportunity she had - That was the day I really decided to live for myself and go get what I really want!
Since then things had started to change, life experiences have been awesome every year and it gets better. I fight for what I want, and I am happy. Above it all, I thank the Lord for keeping me strong and guiding me along the way of all these uncertainties and revealing the greatness at the end. I'm not here to brag, but I'm here to share how extraordinary life can be when we really live it out for ourselves and never stop working towards what we want.
At some point of time people might say we are selfish if we do not care about others and just live for ourselves. My mom used to nag my brother for being super busy and not coming back whenever he has extra semester break time. But I'm proud with my brother, because I know he is out there pursuing what he really wants. At the end of the day, when he won that certain award, or being recognised for certain awards and competition, he fulfilled my mother's dream - To have successful children. My mother was happy, she is still now, although she still nags (I guessed parents are always the same) ^^
Leaving your family pursuing your dreams might sound selfish or coldhearted. But did I ever say that we shouldn't communicate with them? No. The world is so connected today. We have iphones and webcams which will be able to connect us at least. :) At the end of the day, if I'm a parent, I would want my children to fulfill their dreams as I wish them lifetime of happiness and fulfillment. I want them to pursue whatever it is that stirs their passion. I want them to work on their dreams, not someone else's, not mine.
Perhaps now you might feel:
But most of the time things get clearer when I shared this phrase from Jim Rogers from one of his books - "A gift to My Children":
"A lot of people try to live for others - their children, their spouses, their parents, their friends - and in doing so twist themselves into knots attempting to meet their often outsized and/or unrealistic expectations. That leaves little space for personal growth and progress, and creates resentment for lost opportunites."
I hope all of us will start living for ourselves to make the best out of us in order for us to bring the best out of other people!
Dedicating to you: Fighter by Christina Aguilera
Are you a fighter?
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