Something New A Week #44 - Dance Training@Vessel

The posted date was the first day I started learning. But this is written after a month.
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I loved dancing. I entered competitions and did performances. But that day was my very first dance class in Church. It's a programme to prepare us for future productions.

It opened up my eyes to the real dance world. 
Previously I was focusing on techniques, and just going hip hop and free style. But it was such an honor to be able to be mentored by Michael aka MXV. He is a great dance teacher. He taught us the importance of the journey of dancing. He stressed how important it is to make your mind, your heart, your body and your soul to be all in one to perform a great dance, to perform not for fame, not for the glory, but for the Lord. We call it pray-formance instead of performance.

Understanding ourselves
We didn't go into awesome dance moves or copied choreos like how normal dance class used to do. Instead, we went through the basics of understanding our own bodies and feeling ourselves and being in the present. We went through the history of dance and tried out different moves as well to grasp a gist of how dance evolved - Chelston, Waltz, Cha Cha, Twist, Jive, Disco etc. Our warm ups were always ballet-style, lots of plies which made my thigh screamed like mad but am used to it now. We did all kinds of mirroring exercise where we practise emotions, speed, levels etc which made me realised how such simple activity can pull me into a focused zone and to try to understand what the other is thinking, feeling, or trying to tell me.

Putting the pieces together
The favourite part is how MXV empowered us to choreo our own dance moves for 1 same song and helped compiled it to make up a dance for that whole song. It's amazing to see how every single pieces of the jigsaw will in the end fit in nicely to form a nice picture :)

It's the journey that matters
I believe throughout this whole journey one important thing I learned is that everything takes great hard work, laser-like focus, and strong passion to pull you through the journey and grow as you reach destination by destination. Be it in the business world or in the arts world, these same rules apply as it's the core foundation in life if you want to succeed in anything. :)

"One important thing I learned is that everything takes great hard work, laser-like focus, and strong passion to pull you through the journey and grow as you reach destination by destination"

3 Things I Walked Away From

I guessed it's always hard to walk away. It's even harder if you were to walk away from your dreams, from the people you love, from hope. There are countless times I walked away from people who needs help just because I'm shy, times I walked away from reaching higher grounds just because I'm afraid of failing, times I walked away from my family just because I want to join my friends; times I walked away from God just to enjoy what the world can offer me. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone. I do not punish myself for all these, in fact I'm grateful that from every walkaways, I learned something, I repented, and I grew wiser from all the timidity I had inside of me.

Now, I know when and when not to walk away. Out of all these walkaways, the best walkaways I did, and am still doing are these:

WALKAWAY #1: Walking away from negativity and towards living life in abundance and joy.
It's OK to feel bad, sorry, guilty etc but it's never OK to dwell in it. Many of us dwell in it for too long and it became a blackhole that pulls us into the darkness of negativity. Those who acknowledged what is wrong and made the decision to move on fast and take the positive outlook always have a step ahead in life. It's always good to mix with people who channels out positive energy, happy emotions, and inspiring moments. There are always givers and receivers.

"I always believe you can only give what you have, just like the one who never had love within will never know how to love."

So if we would like to give more happiness; we have to have happiness within; same goes to optimism, fun, love etc everything! If we don't have it within us then we need to get it from people who have it so we can spread the the joy of living life to the fullest!

WALKAWAY #2: Walking away from my comfort zone and to do the things I really want to do.
Some people used to get comfortable with what they have but still there's like a void inside of them, it's like that's not really what they want. But when they realised that what they want needs some courage, hardwork, and perseverance; they give up.

"My thoughts are, the things you really want to have, things you really want to do - are never ever easy coming your way." 

It seemed easy for others but if you hear their stories you'll realise what a long way they've came. I searched 2 years and equipped myself to finally land on my dream short stint at Korea; I got out there to mix with people to finally got an appearance on TV for our Korean stuff; I persevered through since I joined a new startup company to see how it flourish a year more later now and how much have I grown; I always wanted to grow in leadership and management and I took up bigger responsibilities which needs lot of perseverance and wisdom and am still learning. My stories aren't super amazing, but I really know, that what you really really want deep down in your heart - it's never easy to attain - you need to get out of your comfort zone to get hold of it. You'll fail, not just once but more - but if you never fail, you never succeed.

WALKAWAY #3: Walking away from being mindful of the norm's perception of me and towards being myself
Why didn't you take up this course? Why are you behaving like this? Why don't you want something stable? Why you don't want to start work after graduating? Why aren't you finding job now? List goes on and on. Questions that your parents, your friends, your relatives, or even facebook friends will ask you.

"I personally think jobs can wait, youth can never wait, adventures when you are young can never wait." 

I'm outspoken, opinionated to certain extend, and I have my own say. I like to spend time alone, I don't mind sitting in a cafe, having a cup of tea and observing people alone. I don't mind I'm single at the age of 26 you can say all you want. I don't get pressured with my friends all getting married. I think it's fine to do hiphop when you are 35. I don't think carry a LV, Coach, Prada, YSL is showing off. Most importantly, I know that this is my life and no one is in control of how I am living it.

Ever since I started walking away, life have been so much more beautiful. There are tough times, but the journey of continuously learning, growing and breaking boundaries is amazing.

I Told 'Em #3: You Live For Yourself

Remember, God has called you to be you, not someone else. Get excited about that today! - Joel Osteen

Today I got to chat with a friend who was having a hard time being who she really is. I found out that it's because she's been busy living for other people, or doing things that she doesn't really like in order to be accepted. Was a great chat with her and I shared my views on living for ourselves.

I posted this on Facebook after that:
"You don't live for other people. You don't live a life just to please someone else, fit in the crowd, or to be someone who you are not. You live for yourself. So start doing things which will make you genuinely happy and productive in life. People tells me it's selfish to live for ourselves. But what's the point living a life which is not yours?"

I think it is really not easy to make that bold decision to live for ourselves and working towards what we are passionate for. When I was younger, more or less at high school age, I was living for my parents. Their strong objection of me going to Spain for performance due to my government exam made me succumbed to it at the very start. My friend instead, fought for the permission from her parents. In the end, she went and it didn't affect our exams at all. That was the lightbulb moment - I didn't live for myself. But don't get me wrong, I still love my parents and I understood where they were coming from. I was just frustrated why didn't I fight for myself.

When my parents divorced, I started living for my family. After graduating from high school I really hoped to pursue something in the media line yet I succumbed to the older generation's advice on job stability. Now to think of it, it was only STPM stage and we were talking about job stability, how funny is that! I had another chance to pursue my passion for media, arts or languages when I was in university but the professional advices again made me a coward. When I saw a friend of mine was majoring in languages and all the opportunity she had - That was the day I really decided to live for myself and go get what I really want!

Since then things had started to change, life experiences have been awesome every year and it gets better. I fight for what I want, and I am happy. Above it all, I thank the Lord for keeping me strong and guiding me along the way of all these uncertainties and revealing the greatness at the end. I'm not here to brag, but I'm here to share how extraordinary life can be when we really live it out for ourselves and never stop working towards what we want.

At some point of time people might say we are selfish if we do not care about others and just live for ourselves. My mom used to nag my brother for being super busy and not coming back whenever he has extra semester break time. But I'm proud with my brother, because I know he is out there pursuing what he really wants. At the end of the day, when he won that certain award, or being recognised for certain awards and competition, he fulfilled my mother's dream - To have successful children. My mother was happy, she is still now, although she still nags (I guessed parents are always the same) ^^

Leaving your family pursuing your dreams might sound selfish or coldhearted. But did I ever say that we shouldn't communicate with them? No. The world is so connected today. We have iphones and webcams which will be able to connect us at least. :) At the end of the day, if I'm a parent, I would want my children to fulfill their dreams as I wish them lifetime of happiness and fulfillment. I want them to pursue whatever it is that stirs their passion. I want them to work on their dreams, not someone else's, not mine. 

Perhaps now you  might feel:

But most of the time things get clearer when I shared this phrase from Jim Rogers from one of his books - "A gift to My Children":
"A lot of people try to live for others - their children, their spouses, their parents, their friends - and in doing so twist themselves into knots attempting to meet their often outsized and/or unrealistic expectations. That leaves little space for personal growth and progress, and creates resentment for lost opportunites."


I hope all of us will start living for ourselves to make the best out of us in order for us to bring the best out of other people!

Dedicating to you: Fighter by Christina Aguilera

Are you a fighter?

Thoughts I Had #8: Why Are We Afraid?

"A person who is secure with himself is much more likely to achieve success, have meaningful relationships, and be respected by others." - Annonymous

I've spoke with quite a number of friends on security and I realised most people are afraid to make big life time decisions because they are not sure what the future holds. They feel insecure. They kept asking themselves "what if?". The fact is, we will never know what the future holds so what-ifs will always be there and there is no point for us to waste our time thinking too much about what-ifs.

We have to start being more secured with ourselves in order to feel secured of what the future may hold. When we are secured with ourselves and we know what makes us happy, what makes us move forward in life; we are then able to courageously make big life decisions. A person who is insecure often finds difficulty in different areas of life.

Begin Today!

I Told 'Em #2: The Leap Forward

Today I heard that they broke up, this pair of friend of mine. It was not expected. They were so loving and compatible. But you know how one will always give reasons to break up.  When I grew older, break ups seemed like a normal thing to me. Here break there break everywhere break. Even the longest relationship couple would have broken up. I grew to learn that when break ups happen, no one is at fault. It just means that the relationship doesn't work at that point of time and that holding on to it is just too miserable to bear.

Another pair of friend of mine however, broke up and got together again. This cycle repeated countless times. I know what is he thinking and I felt that it will still not work if such feelings and thoughts aren't change, no matter how many times they got back together for the sake of familiarity. But I would better stay neutral as a friend.

I guessed some times we found out our love for someone have faded and are afraid to break up because we are unsure what the future holds for us. What more when the other partner is a very great person to have with if we think of it rationally. So no matter how incompatible it may seem, we still feel it's good to have him/her around because the personality is great, that's the person who will take good care of us. Yet countless times we forgot the fundamentals of what builds a strong relationship when we are just on courtship- Communication and Love. If we hold back someone for the sake of guilt, for the sake of familiarity, for the sake of security...and yet cannot provide the love and communication that the other half desires, what's the point then?

Break up or not, the key word is to leap forward. If we broke up, move on for the better. If we did not break up, then move on together with our partners for a better future. If we stay put in a relationship and ding-dong back and forth, I say it's better to break up and move on in life faster for the betterment of each other rather than waste each other's time if you seriously have not much of feelings or don't see light in your relationship anymore.

Life is precious. Time is limited. There's time to love, but there' not much time to waste people's love. So make your decision and take the leap forward and move on.

As wrong as I may seem, as harsh as I may sound, this is what I think at the moment. Nobody like break ups, I don't either. But if it happen, it happens. What we need to do is, to leap forward.

Thoughts I Had #6: What's Your Theme Song?

Everyone will have that one very special song they like, or perhaps a few.

Usually it's because the song speaks directly to them, or of them, or something that they desire most.

I believe that if you strongly believe in your theme song and work hard for it, you will one day be singing it yourself proudly. :)

Thoughts I Had #5: I've Bipolar Disorder?

Nah, don't really think so. But I do have split personalities. At one end, I can be very cheerful, innocent and all happy. At another end, I can be drop dead serious or just plain quiet. Don't get me wrong, I do not have any hormone imbalance. I'm not faking it either. I'm just who I am :) I like being crazily wild with friends and also having my sweet quiet time reading books.

I believe no matter how outgoing a person is, they'll still want a time with themselves to get in touch with themselves, no? If you aren't like this, I say you should start finding some quality time with yourself. It helps you to experience life in a different way, it helps you to keep track with who you are, it helps you to relax :)

After working for more than half a year, I'm proud of one thing I've achieved. I found out that I've learned not to put emotions into conclusions. You know how emo and cranky a female employee can be when things don't go right or when people or situations just frustrates you, right? Yeah. I rarely find myself acting like that at all. I look at things objectively and unbiased. If I'm not happy with it, I walk away or do other things first until I'm more sane, I'll only look into the problem so that I'll remain objective and logical. Or else I'll end up creating more unwanted unhappy conversations or chaos.

It's not that I've no emotions. It's about choosing to let or not let your emotions affect your actions and decisions. With that, I confirmed I do not have bipolar disorder, I just have split personality with the capability to be all fun and all quiet at different times :)

Thoughts I Had #4: The Night When The Nation Unites

GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's the one same thing you can hear at most of the mamak stores around 11.30pm, Nov 21, 2011.

It's amazing how events can unite people. Tonight Harimau Muda won the SEA Games Football Final. Another significant milestone for us!

I pictured a bunch of friends in their 20s, regardless of their race, yelling and cheering in front of the TV at the living room when the Tigers scored their last kick!

I pictured two old uncles, with teh tarik in their hands, beaming so widely while the Tigers soar across the field in celebration!

I pictured everyone at Mamak stood up and cheered and hugged each other while the huge screen was replaying the last score.

I could not see malay, chinese, indian.. I see Malaysians, roaring for their country. I'm very sure what I visualise, is true.

Tonight is another night, when the nation unites.

Why are we then politicking on race and religion?

Isn't it very clear that we love our country as one?

Congratulations Tigers.

I Told 'Em #1: Be Rebellious Or You Don't Get It

This picture reminds me how hard I've fought to get a good paid volunteer work at Korea. Many people said its impossible, it's tough. I searched for 2 years. I didn't give up. I then got the call on Monday, and I settled everything I flew for Korea on Thursday. And I had an amazing time of my life there for 7 weeks! I wanted to share this on the net and yes, my story was published in Malaysia's top K-pop culture blog, read it HERE. Many enquiries came in and I'm so glad I'm able to help them :)

You know, I'm sure everyone has dreams. When I was young my dreams were wild, creative, overwhelming. All kinds of dreams a kid could have dreamed of! When I was young, just like any other kid, if I want something, I won't care whether it's possible to get it or not I'll just heck it and do anything to get what I want, even if it's stealing a pair of swim suis from the store. I repented by the way. How crazy I was!

Once I was talking with my CEO and I asked him a question on why didn't we take certain action earlier:

"What took us so long?"

He paused and answered,

"Rationality."

Indeed. When we grew older, our rationality starts to limit our dreams. Our common senses start to limit our dreams. Our mediocre perspectives of life start to limit our dreams. Don't get me wrong. We do have dreams. All of us have different type of dreams to achieve at different point of life. But still there's always that one BIG dream in our entire life that we want to achieve, but we always feel that it is SO HARD to get it.

I'm not sure about you but most of the time I do manage to achieve most of my dreams, or more like my goals at that point of time. But this only happened after I turned 15. I learned this through one enlightening moment. When I was at the age of 15, I was given an opportunity to perform at Spain along with my band mates. It was also the PMR year, one of Malaysia's most important government exams. Parents said no. Relatives said no. Friends said better not. I was so boiled down to the fact that if I went away for that 2 weeks I'll won't be able to score well in my PMR exam. So I gave up that opportunity.

Sadly, 2 weeks passed and my bandmates came back from Spain. They continued with classes and prepared for PMR. 2 weeks made not a slightest difference at all to them!

That was the exact moment when I started fighting for anything I know my heart desires. That was also when I started to take more risks in life, unafraid of whatever is ahead of me, and fought to get what I want. If I want to do anything and anyone blocked my way, I'll always remind myself that I'm not living for them. This just reminded me of what Steve Jobs said before:

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

To add from my end - Be strong. Be courageous. Persevere. Risk more than others thinks is safe. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible. Be rebellious when it comes to something your heart truly madly deeply desire. I rejected a Shell scholarship because I wanted to study something that I can apply to me and my family's health, I ditched the idea of interning at an MNC because I prefer the hectic tasks in a start-up company, I declined an offer to work with an MNC once I left my 1st job because I know that's totally not what I want, I choose to do volunteery work in Korea once I graduate instead of finding a job because for my sake I'll be working anyway in the future, and many more, and that's how it made me who I am today. That's when I have more stories to tell.

My stories are not as amazing as other people. But I don't compare. As long as I continue to outdo myself, I'm able to build more amazing chronicles of myself. I always remind myself that other people are examples for you to look up to, but to benchmark them against yourself, is cruel, tedious, and tiring. You are your only enemy. Constantly pushing ourselves on a daily basis will stop us from being just good; but be great; for Good is the enemy of Great.

So yeah, be rebellious and smart in fighting for what you want, and have faith. With that, you have many life stories to tell :)

Thoughts I Had #2: Numbers

When I was young I used to count from 1 to 100.
The older I grow, the more numbers I got in touch with.
I used to think that looking at 5 digits is a big thing when I started my internship.
But now, I'm looking at more than 6 digits on a daily basis.
The responsibilities grow as you are looking at more numbers. The burden increases. The challenges get crazier. The risk gets higher.

I'm a person who holds on to 5 words : "Be Strong. Be Courageous. Persevere.". Tough times might scare me but still we'll have to brave it through. I will never say no to tough times.

But at times, I feel like going back to the moments where I'm just counting 1,2,3.

Everyone should once a while take time to return to counting 1,2,3, when life was as simple and free as that. :)