Thoughts I Had #6: What's Your Theme Song?

Everyone will have that one very special song they like, or perhaps a few.

Usually it's because the song speaks directly to them, or of them, or something that they desire most.

I believe that if you strongly believe in your theme song and work hard for it, you will one day be singing it yourself proudly. :)

Thoughts I Had #5: I've Bipolar Disorder?

Nah, don't really think so. But I do have split personalities. At one end, I can be very cheerful, innocent and all happy. At another end, I can be drop dead serious or just plain quiet. Don't get me wrong, I do not have any hormone imbalance. I'm not faking it either. I'm just who I am :) I like being crazily wild with friends and also having my sweet quiet time reading books.

I believe no matter how outgoing a person is, they'll still want a time with themselves to get in touch with themselves, no? If you aren't like this, I say you should start finding some quality time with yourself. It helps you to experience life in a different way, it helps you to keep track with who you are, it helps you to relax :)

After working for more than half a year, I'm proud of one thing I've achieved. I found out that I've learned not to put emotions into conclusions. You know how emo and cranky a female employee can be when things don't go right or when people or situations just frustrates you, right? Yeah. I rarely find myself acting like that at all. I look at things objectively and unbiased. If I'm not happy with it, I walk away or do other things first until I'm more sane, I'll only look into the problem so that I'll remain objective and logical. Or else I'll end up creating more unwanted unhappy conversations or chaos.

It's not that I've no emotions. It's about choosing to let or not let your emotions affect your actions and decisions. With that, I confirmed I do not have bipolar disorder, I just have split personality with the capability to be all fun and all quiet at different times :)

Thoughts I Had #4: The Night When The Nation Unites

GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's the one same thing you can hear at most of the mamak stores around 11.30pm, Nov 21, 2011.

It's amazing how events can unite people. Tonight Harimau Muda won the SEA Games Football Final. Another significant milestone for us!

I pictured a bunch of friends in their 20s, regardless of their race, yelling and cheering in front of the TV at the living room when the Tigers scored their last kick!

I pictured two old uncles, with teh tarik in their hands, beaming so widely while the Tigers soar across the field in celebration!

I pictured everyone at Mamak stood up and cheered and hugged each other while the huge screen was replaying the last score.

I could not see malay, chinese, indian.. I see Malaysians, roaring for their country. I'm very sure what I visualise, is true.

Tonight is another night, when the nation unites.

Why are we then politicking on race and religion?

Isn't it very clear that we love our country as one?

Congratulations Tigers.

Early Birthday to Bro!

YEAR 2009: When we were still young and playful

Do you have siblings? If you do, no matter what kind of situations you are in with your siblings, be it rough, argued, not contacting, loving, very close etc etc, I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that there are few things in life which you cannot afford to let go; one of them is your siblings.

Celebrated bro's birthday a few days earlier today as he'll be back to uni during his birthday. It's his 21st birthday! Rather than throwing a super big "welcome to adulthood" celebration, we actually had a small calm dinner with some of our relatives.

I just want to say that I'm so grateful and proud to have you as my brother. I love the gist of constantly inspiring each other and pushing each other to do better at what we are doing. I like the fact that we hold onto the same beliefs in a lot of things although there'll still be things which we are not so in-sync with, I'm not as green as you and obviously you're not as korean as me. 

But I guessed the same factor we have is that we constantly pursue what we are passionate with and we believe in the power of empowering and inspiring people around us. For that, I'm so proud that we are siblings.

No doubt our favourite quote would always be from one of our fave movie, Coach Carter:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

At the age of 20 you have been achieving numerous successes in life and have gained valuable experiences around the world. Let's continue to strive for greater heights in life for the Lord has great purpose for us here!

God bless you my beloved brother!

I Told 'Em #1: Be Rebellious Or You Don't Get It

This picture reminds me how hard I've fought to get a good paid volunteer work at Korea. Many people said its impossible, it's tough. I searched for 2 years. I didn't give up. I then got the call on Monday, and I settled everything I flew for Korea on Thursday. And I had an amazing time of my life there for 7 weeks! I wanted to share this on the net and yes, my story was published in Malaysia's top K-pop culture blog, read it HERE. Many enquiries came in and I'm so glad I'm able to help them :)

You know, I'm sure everyone has dreams. When I was young my dreams were wild, creative, overwhelming. All kinds of dreams a kid could have dreamed of! When I was young, just like any other kid, if I want something, I won't care whether it's possible to get it or not I'll just heck it and do anything to get what I want, even if it's stealing a pair of swim suis from the store. I repented by the way. How crazy I was!

Once I was talking with my CEO and I asked him a question on why didn't we take certain action earlier:

"What took us so long?"

He paused and answered,

"Rationality."

Indeed. When we grew older, our rationality starts to limit our dreams. Our common senses start to limit our dreams. Our mediocre perspectives of life start to limit our dreams. Don't get me wrong. We do have dreams. All of us have different type of dreams to achieve at different point of life. But still there's always that one BIG dream in our entire life that we want to achieve, but we always feel that it is SO HARD to get it.

I'm not sure about you but most of the time I do manage to achieve most of my dreams, or more like my goals at that point of time. But this only happened after I turned 15. I learned this through one enlightening moment. When I was at the age of 15, I was given an opportunity to perform at Spain along with my band mates. It was also the PMR year, one of Malaysia's most important government exams. Parents said no. Relatives said no. Friends said better not. I was so boiled down to the fact that if I went away for that 2 weeks I'll won't be able to score well in my PMR exam. So I gave up that opportunity.

Sadly, 2 weeks passed and my bandmates came back from Spain. They continued with classes and prepared for PMR. 2 weeks made not a slightest difference at all to them!

That was the exact moment when I started fighting for anything I know my heart desires. That was also when I started to take more risks in life, unafraid of whatever is ahead of me, and fought to get what I want. If I want to do anything and anyone blocked my way, I'll always remind myself that I'm not living for them. This just reminded me of what Steve Jobs said before:

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

To add from my end - Be strong. Be courageous. Persevere. Risk more than others thinks is safe. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible. Be rebellious when it comes to something your heart truly madly deeply desire. I rejected a Shell scholarship because I wanted to study something that I can apply to me and my family's health, I ditched the idea of interning at an MNC because I prefer the hectic tasks in a start-up company, I declined an offer to work with an MNC once I left my 1st job because I know that's totally not what I want, I choose to do volunteery work in Korea once I graduate instead of finding a job because for my sake I'll be working anyway in the future, and many more, and that's how it made me who I am today. That's when I have more stories to tell.

My stories are not as amazing as other people. But I don't compare. As long as I continue to outdo myself, I'm able to build more amazing chronicles of myself. I always remind myself that other people are examples for you to look up to, but to benchmark them against yourself, is cruel, tedious, and tiring. You are your only enemy. Constantly pushing ourselves on a daily basis will stop us from being just good; but be great; for Good is the enemy of Great.

So yeah, be rebellious and smart in fighting for what you want, and have faith. With that, you have many life stories to tell :)

Thoughts I Had #3: Thanks Cambodian Kids

Counting the days! My favourite season is here. A season of love, care and sharing :) A season that everyone remembers that Baby Jesus was born. 

While I was busy thinking how to decorate my room, what props to buy, what Christmas gifts to give. Something popped into my mind automatically once I saw that picture which was pinned up on my board. It's a picture of the needy Cambodian kids in their wooden house. They look all dirty but their smiles were all bright and sunny. You can see sheer joy.

Christmas, the time to give thanks and be thankful for what I have in life at this point of time.

Thoughts I Had #2: Numbers

When I was young I used to count from 1 to 100.
The older I grow, the more numbers I got in touch with.
I used to think that looking at 5 digits is a big thing when I started my internship.
But now, I'm looking at more than 6 digits on a daily basis.
The responsibilities grow as you are looking at more numbers. The burden increases. The challenges get crazier. The risk gets higher.

I'm a person who holds on to 5 words : "Be Strong. Be Courageous. Persevere.". Tough times might scare me but still we'll have to brave it through. I will never say no to tough times.

But at times, I feel like going back to the moments where I'm just counting 1,2,3.

Everyone should once a while take time to return to counting 1,2,3, when life was as simple and free as that. :)

Thoughts I Had #1: Sleep late and regret the next morning

Funny why do people like to sleep late, and regret the next morning. Many times we tell ourselves to be discipline to sleep early so we can wake up early and live life to the fullest! But most of the time we failed. We ended up chatting on Skype, enjoying Youtube, stalking people on Facebook, or just plainly browsing so called non-constructive stuff...and then we found out it's already 3 in the morning. Then we finally slept, and wake up the next day being all cranky just because we did not have enough sleep.

Some times we sleep late because some of us believe there's more to life during the night, at other places other than our school, workplace or home. We pour ourselves into peeking other people's life in Facebook and wishing we were doing as great as them, or laughing at great vids at Youtube and envying their skills, or starring at MTVs yearning to be a star etc etc etc...We were all searching for a more exciting  life by looking into other people's.

Thing is, if we turn every second of that into action steps to achieve what we want to be ultimately; then sleeping late is worth it.

Good night. I just watched a couple of Korean dramas because I want to improve my language. So sleeping late for today is worthwhile. XD

你怎么那么黑

明道

两个人

心只有一个
当两个人出现在你面前时
没有人说你的心不会同时间为两个人而分两半跳快几下
真的会发生的！
有些人真的可以同时专心喜欢两个人
只是一个得到比较少的疼爱
另一个获得比较多的关怀
还好这是连续剧。。。

Once Had. Dumped. Back Again.

Once I was a blogger.

Once I had blog friends.

My life was blogged down since year 2000.

I changed 1 blog. And I continued to blog.

When people start working, you tend to give your reasons not to blog.

Slowly the blogs died. And I deleted them. That was a regret.

People always say live life with no regrets. I don't believe such sayings. If there are no regrets in life, what is life, then?

I was an active blogger when I was a high-schooler. Uni life was awesome, I encounter a lot outside the blogging world. It was the same time when I stop blogging.

4 years have passed and I'm now working.

Perspective changed. Attitude changed. I've changed. I know I've changed for the better, but I would also miss to read my progress. That's when I regret deleting my old blog.

That's when it hits me again. Blogging/Journaling/Writing diaries, help you to be more sane. Helps you to document down your life in words.

If ever you died, there's a blog there to remind others of who you are. Although we have Facebook, but somehow blog still feels more personal.

So hi, I'm back again.